I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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