Whod you bang
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
