Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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