I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize