: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You were trust falling into bushes
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
