Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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