Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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