A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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