I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
