I just cut my nipple shaving
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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