Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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