i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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