I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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