oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
