i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
