As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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