He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize