Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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