Since when is my name a synonym for head?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
