i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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