pedialite and red bull = repair kit
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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