The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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