Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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