So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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