your thong is hanging out like whoa
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
