Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
