well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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