Me too!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
only you would photoshop your dick
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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