So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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