I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
