I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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