just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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