We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
