yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
