Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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