her vagina looked like bernie madoff
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize