mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
