There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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