dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
