what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
