Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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