drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
