How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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