i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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