I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
