Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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