nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
