is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
