Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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