in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
